the last sin
  pale ashen sky
a bleary eye
clouds of recurring screams...
i am a zoo
  an octopus leviathan
tentacles into an ocean
of unformed emotions...
syphilis and love  
  syphilitic pall
stifles the clear blue
i contort...
shell and pearl
  amidst highs and lows
in life's ocean flows
a shell peony-mouthed...
i am an unmarried mother
  fed on stings
of barbed milk morality
my child-plankton...
the lovers
  cell upon cell
bridge of their union
hung on the pillars...
  ogre of age
and time cavil
at a warm picture...
the young today
  innocence thaws
at the altar
of ambition...

Ms. Lopez and her jewel-encrusted toilet seat

Ms. Lopez’s celebrated butt is in news again
fiancé Ben must care deeplypun not intended
about her precious tush
her pristine behind has inspired
many a Hollywood legend
understandably since tinsel town is aflush
with anorexic catamites wearing skeletal smiles
notwithstanding bust implants
any bulbous protuberance
is bound to cause a flutter
and there goes Ben desperate to protect
her precious derriere her cheesecake
in the highest traditions of gallant men
men who are knights men of valour
"Jennifer is my princess and she deserves
only the best - even when it comes to toilets"

men are given to such fineness the world over
and women of the world secretly crave
to be cherished like the delectable Ms. Lopez
honestly who would not like her butt
to do its business in the exalted company
of ‘rubies, sapphires, pearls and a diamond’
all as Ben so tenderly put it
‘set inside the plastic, so Jennifer's behind
won't get scratched’ poor me
such concern is touching
specially in an age when men
are getting stingy about romance
and diamonds are getting dearer by the day

interestingly there is one thing common
about Ms. Lopez’s bum and Saddam’s bottom
yes you read it bottom not bomb
both are pampered both deserve to be
such exquisite rumps are not made everyday
that lovable despot with a fetish
for Viagra and ageing blondes
had an enviable collection of golden bidets
faucets besides golden Kalashnikovs of course
and sire that’s not all
even that great holder of tissue paper
ass-wipe in American speak
toilet paper holder you got it
was made of gold
what an impossibly charming man!

but friends Hollywood is even more
given to grandeur and good taste
much more than what Saddam’s ‘oil for palaces’
-god bless that holy man General Tommy Franks-
could accumulate
hence Ms. Lopez’s luscious rear
will be rested not on a golden throne
but one encrusted with
‘rubies, sapphires, pearls and a diamond’

oh what a musical halo it has
the mellifluous wrestle of a sculpted
almost divine bottom
on a plastic seat studded with
here we go again it sounds so lyrical
doesn’t it
‘rubies, sapphires, pearls and a diamond’
i think we should put it to chorus
Cambridge choir are you listening
and the gentle swish of the flush
oh what a symphony shall the twain make

ah Ms. Lopez the world would be poorer
without such quixotic tributes to your butt
"Jennifer is my princess and she deserves
only the best - even when it comes to toilets"
dear Ben we couldn’t agree with you more
with Saddam gone and romance a casualty
in a warring heartless world
we need you to hold the fort
for refined aestheticism
artifice and the quest
for new pleasure sensations

for decadence and bohemia

let’s drink to that

( 18 April 2003 )