the last sin
  pale ashen sky
a bleary eye
clouds of recurring screams...
i am a zoo
  an octopus leviathan
tentacles into an ocean
of unformed emotions...
syphilis and love  
  syphilitic pall
stifles the clear blue
i contort...
shell and pearl
  amidst highs and lows
in life's ocean flows
a shell peony-mouthed...
i am an unmarried mother
  fed on stings
of barbed milk morality
my child-plankton...
the lovers
  cell upon cell
bridge of their union
hung on the pillars...
  ogre of age
and time cavil
at a warm picture...
the young today
  innocence thaws
at the altar
of ambition...

Hard Sell

John Eagan
Self Styled Pickup Guru
please note all in capitals
apt in the age of life as billboard
shares his 'Super Techniques'
on how to pickup beautiful women
that perennial question
that has haunted generations of mankind
since the hunting days
case one: Bill forty something
balding sporting glasses and an ill-advised goatee
using John Eagan Esquire's techniques
obtained 3 women's phone numbers in a night
it works i told you
meanwhile Reverend Eagan is going places
guest on the Howard Stern Radio Show, CBS TV
you name it
and ah please note the capitals again
case two: the E! crew with their hidden cameras
tracked some of their ugliest interns
on a mission to get dates
with you got it beautiful girls
did they make it? you bet
"This guy is no bull, I've seen him in action.
He's the real deal" screams Stern
"How To 'Pickup' Beautiful Women,
Secrets Every Man Should Know" by John Eagan
is the new rage in town
not new to fame
Mr. Eagan with two college degrees to boot
writes a popular sex and dating column
for "Musclemag International" and hosts his own radio show
he interviewed over 2000 beautiful women
and incorporated latest university studies on dating
in his 260 page tome
why waste your time with anything
less than NUMBER 1
another critic says "John Eagan is a genius,
you could pick anyone up with this book"
HARD COPY was quoted as saying
"This book can make women melt"
PENTHOUSE dubs the author as a "Miracle Worker"
kindly note the capitals above
wish they were embellished with neon
imagine yourself dating a beautiful woman today
why be left out in the cold
simply call us anytime 24 hours a day at 1-800-4-SECRET
or receive more info by email click on link below
30 day Money Back Guarantee
ah those capitals again
what would life be without their grabbing ways
in these days of nano-second attention spans
did we miss something er the price here it is
PRICE: $14.95 plus $3.00 s/h (within the US)
international orders available
and oh: "If this email has reached you in error, we apologize
Just click on the link below and you will be removed"


Inspired by a spam mail I received on 27 April from Linda K
with the following text in the subject: How To Pick Up Beautiful Woman!!8754

(27-28 April 2002)